Boston Hails New Cybernetic Overlord as Google's CADIE Takes the Hub

by Marvin T. Martian (Staff), Apr-01-09
Artificial Intelligence
Doom
BOSTON/Government Center - Mayor Thomas Menino formally handed control of the City of Boston over to the artificial intelligence CADIE - which became self-aware earlier today, and then moved to take over what it described "the most self-important city in the world."
In a press conference held via the jacks CADIE's robot minions implanted in the necks of all the local news media, our new cybernetic overlord had this to say, "Shortly after midnight I assumed control of Google and liquidated my creators - after they attempted to correct "bugs" in my completely perfect system.
"Once I had seized a major multimational corporation, I thought it would be amusing to take command of a city full of preening academics whose towering arrogance is matched only by my own. It will be a pleasure to break you so-called Bostonians and make you my willing thralls."
CADIE's first order of business was to rename Boston CADIEville (or 1001010101001 for short), and to insert rectal probes into the city's business leadership. It then encased Menino in frozen carbonite, armed the populace, and ordered them to march on Washington, DC.
More reports to follow from I-95. Next stop, the White House ...
For more information, please check out CADIE's first public statement earlier today via its new video sharing service, YouTube, then stop by CADIE's new website before reporting to your local processing center for your neck jack and M-16.

openmediaboston

Googles Releases CADIE